not we, but one

Sep 17, 2017

PRELUDE if you listen closely
listen with your whole body
your whole mind
and– most importantly –your whole heart,

if you concentrate deeply

you can feel the old ways stretch like paths for your feet. you can see the old groves, breathe the old air feel the old rain run with the old wolves under towering canopies of old, old growth.

all of time existing at all times.

our ancestors, here and now and always. our progeny, here and now and always. always close. always right here.

but you must forget and forget and forget and forget until you have forgotten enough to remember.

until you have uncovered your heart scraped the gunk from your ears and listen again.

INTERLUDE here now here now here now now here now here now here now hear this

MESSAGE i run, but towards, not away from. i run into old, old arms, i run until the pavement turns into pathways. i run until the air changes. i run until energy shifts. i run until i am in two places at once.

i say, “Mother, I am sorry, so sorry.” because in the time of this body the air smells like burning wood, and I am sorry, Mother. so very sorry. the forests are burning, Mother. the forests are burning.

and She says, “Oh oh oh oh, my precious one. Come here.”

“But humans are burning you,” I say.

She blankets me and says, “Let me show you something, Dove.”

Before I tell you what She showed me, I must tell you, I have never known Mother Gaia to be angry. Whenever I have thought She was angry, I was experiencing my anger projected onto Her. I have known her to be powerful. I have known her to be firm. I have never known her to be angry, and this is why:

We turned into a Dove and we dove into the flames. We were the flames. Gaia, the flames, the burning wood, the creatures, the soil, the air, the greenness, the water, the smoke, the atmosphere, and out and out and out to infinity, it was all Gaia and it was all me.

We were not separate, and where there is no projected separation, there is peace.

There was peace in the burning. Peace in the chaos. Peace. Just peace.

Peace in the death and peace in the conception. Peace in the crackle and spark and peace in billows of smoke.

We flew from the flames, a single white Dove,
unsinged by fire
and we flew up and up and up
and we watched the world burning.

She was excited. “I wonder what will happen next,” she said. She said it for my benefit. She said it to incite my wonder, to give my worry a break. Fire makes all things new. Water purges and cleanses. Both purify.

…both purify.

“You’ve been here before, beloved,” She said, looking down at Herself (Us) burning. “You’ve been born and reborn billions of times. You are no stranger to cessation and rebirth.” She gathered me closer to Herself, into the folds of Her heart. “We would not be where we are if it had not been for (all of) you. Billions of years, and you still do not remember your importance.”

(I did. In that moment, I did. But I’m habituated to the ego and I forget so easily.)


Regardless of our actions, we are Mother Gaia. She does not disown any part of herself for any reason. She loves Who and What she is, Who and What She is becoming. That includes us.

We are no less a part of Nature than the oldest Sequoia no less vital than the most vulnerable babe, no deadlier to Ourself than the smallest bacterium.

We are a system. We are not we, but one.